My grandmother cooked dinner almost every night. I looked forward to fish (that my grandfather caught) on Friday evenings, a succulent meal on Sunday after church, and leftovers at least 2 -3 times out of the week. Every now and then fast-food would suffice. Dining out at restaurants was a rare and special occasion that could be marked by a luncheon or banquet sponsored by an employer, club, or organization.
My familiarity with restaurants was very uncommon. However, I do remember ordering out from what I thought were the nicer restaurants, like International House of Pancakes (IHOP), Bennigans, and Olive Garden. When we would go to a sit-down affair, everyone was dressed up in a nice outfit. All the girls wore dresses or skirts. All the boys wore dark slacks and nice button down shirts, sometimes even a suit with the standard penny loafers. Jeans, shorts, tank tops, or tube tops were not an option.
On prom night, I went to Red Lobster. It was very special and only maybe my second or third time ever going. It was so elite that I was given my uncle’s American Express card to be sure that I had enough money to cover my meal. I remember thinking, “The food is great, but why are we eating seafood in these nice gowns?”
In college, my dining knowledge broadened. Delivery became a consistent word in my vocabulary. I branched out to more dining establishments and realized my friends were experiencing these eateries for the first time, right along with me. Around the same time, I noticed something else; we were the best dressed in the dining room. Shorts, t-shirts, tank tops and mini skirts were the norm.
In the movies, patrons were stopped at the door and given the option of a coat and tie before they could enter a first-class restaurant. If you refused, the maître’d politely told you that you could not enter because you did not meet the dress code. So why were these people (not all college students) dressing like they were going to the beach and not to a fine dining establishment? Where was the menu that no one understood and food names commonly mispronounced? Where was the filet mignon or lobster that cost $75 and your date was afraid he wouldn’t be able to pay the check?
As I matriculated and entered the adult world, many experiences similar to this were encountered, but I still sought the epitome of a fine dining occasion. I have since had such an experience, quite a few actually. In fact, the food was absolutely exquisite. I began pondering what characteristics make up such an eating experience and developed a list of things to look for in a restaurant to declare its worthiness to be called a “fine dining establishment”.
- Commercials. These restaurants usually have advertising, but nowhere near your television screen, over the radio, or even in the town paper. They are usually advertised with the concierge at higher end hotels, travel, and restaurant guides. In fact, a few are connected to hotels and you’re more likely to get a reservation if you are staying there.
- Dress Code: Call ahead and ask about the dress code. If they tell you it’s casual, beware. It is probably your run of the mill family style restaurant. If they say they don’t have one, ask what people usually wear.
- Reservations: If they don’t take reservations at all, look for another restaurant. You should look for places where you either need a special membership or at least reservations a week in advance. The hostess shouldn’t act like taking a reservation is a new thing. I was out of town with a few girlfriends when I had my first experience. We walked there from our hotel. Upon arrival we were told there reservations were booked solid except for this one table. It was the worst table, literally right next to the entrance. To this day, it is some of the best food and service I have ever received. This time, we were under dressed.
- Proper Table Setting: Table cloths, napkins, a full set of silverware, wine glasses and water glasses are standard.
- Wait staff: The hostess and wait staff are dressed well.
I have tweaked this list for my own liking. During my excursions, I have realized that some restaurants do consider themselves to be fine dining, but just haven’t lived up to my criteria (I was overdressed, again!). Ultimately, the defining criteria for a fine dining establishment are the patrons. I have been in an oyster bar and everyone was dressed to the hilt. I have also been in a nice steakhouse and everyone was dressed like they had just returned from the beach. You get to make the final decision. If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, just order an appetizer, water, and make your exit. Do not giggle your head off in disbelief like I did.